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Hey everyone! Today I just have to talk about religious fanaticism. I have proclaimed myself a non-believer of religion. That doesn't mean I don't believe in God, I just don't believe that God gave us free-will and at the same time rules to follow. Does it make sense to you? I don't think so.
I have no problem with people that believe in a religion, in fact, most of my friends are Christians, Catholics, Buddhist, etc. I just don't like it when they start imposing their beliefs in me. I don't go around telling people: "Religion is BAD!" "Your religion is ignorant" No, I keep it to myself. Why? Because is my belief, not yours. But some religious people think they have the "power" of talking about their beliefs like they are the only religion in the world, like nobody else understands the world as they do. Recently I was walking on campus to one of my classes and one very well dressed man gave me a book out of the blue. When I looked at it, it was the New Testament... I got pissed! Why did he think I wanted that? What if I pertain to another religion? There is no respect what-so-ever! And since there is no respect, I threw the new testament right on the garbage. I know most of you must be surprised by this, but is just paper to me. Remember I don't believe in religion. :P
There are also people that go around talking about their morals, going to church, and criticizing anybody that doesn't follow their religious steps. But, on their lives they don't practice what they preach! How are you going to say that people should arrive virgins to marriage, when you are the first one who had kids at 15? How are you going to say that gays getting married is a sin, when your marriage sucks? How are you going to say that you should devote your whole life to serving God, when everyone around you hates you because they way you treat them? If that's the way you think you are buying your entrance to "heaven", I think you will be disappointed when you get there.
I don't believe in religion and I have been criticized about it ever since. But I try to treat everyone I meet with equal respect. I try to stay on top of things happening in the world to see in what ways I can help. I am in a career path, that I chose so I could help society. I don't like to criticize others, instead I always like finding the positive in everyone and everything. If by doing all this I am still going to "hell" because of not having a religion, you know what? I don't care! I live my life to the fullest, because when I die I don't want to have any regrets. I want to be able to love my partner without conditions, to love my children without regretting what I couldn't do because of them, to be able to look back and say: What a great life I had! That IS what I think God wants from us, just to live life to the fullest and the best way we can!

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A-W-E-S-O-M-E!!!!!!

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Have you ever played the game three or five things? Well, I recently overheard some people playing it and one of the questions was: what five things would you want to have if you were stranded on a deserted island? One girl said:
1. My laptop
2. A great book
3. My boyfriend
4. IPod
5. Collection of DVD's

... hmm isn't that stupid??? First of all... what are you going to do when the batteries of the laptop and IPod die??? There goes the DVD's as well because without laptop no DVD's. What's left? The great book? trust me you are going to get tired of reading it since you don't have any means of communication with the outside world! Now the only thing left is your boyfriend... great. By that time, you are going to be so mad that the other four things don't work, that I bet you are going to take all your anger out on your boyfriend as he is going to leave you... Useless stuff!!!

Then they asked the same question to one guy. Here are his answers:

1. Lots of food
2. Toilet Paper
3. Hot girl
4. Condoms
5. A pillow

... Oh my freaking God! These people are crazy! Ok, let's review the answers... Lots of food is good but where are you going to put it? It's going to rotten and then you are going to starve... Toilet Paper??? Really?? Don't you think you should save that spot for something more useful. You can clean you butt with water!!! I am not even going to discuss the hot girl and condoms ;(. A pillow?? How dumb is that?

After hearing these brainless people play this stupid game I started thinking what I would like to have if I was stranded on a desert island... Here are my five things:

1. Camping Gear Packet that includes matches, flashlights, ponchos, a little tent, a mini first aid kit, camping knife
2. Sunscreen with High SPF (I want to protect my skin!!!)
3. Bug Spray
4. One Short Wave Radio with the batteries inside fully charged ( Hopefully I can communicate with a boat passing by)
5. Flint ( I can make fire with it and it won't run out of fuel or batteries)

I didn't chose a boat, because if I am STRANDED that means I can't have one right? Also, no food since I can always find fruits and small animals to eat. No clothes... who needs clothes on a deserted island and I can always make some clothes with palm leaves and vines!

Who is going to survive now suckers!!!!!!

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Here is my first tattoo!!!! I wanted to symbolize that "Tempus Fugit"... time flies!!! If you look closely its a broken hourglass and the sand turns into a butterfly. I love it!!! It was done in Puerto Rico on Underskin Tattoos by Heri. Awesome people, awesome artists! It hurt!!! But I didn't cry!!!! That is a big accomplishment for me!!! I didn't know getting tattoos was such an spiritual experience. I felt like I could control my body to tolerate the pain and it was so worth it because the tattoo turned out to be exactly what I wanted and more! I am already thinking about my next one!

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Hey! I recently found a group on facebook called Real Women Have Curves, and it caught my attention the administrator, Sophie Fletcher, wrote on the page. She said a friend told her the following fact:

"Back when drop dead gorgeous, curvy, influential women like Sophia Loren and Marilyn Monroe were modeling for major labels, the companies found that people paid much more attention to the models gorgeous bodies than the clothing they were promoting. So for marketing purposes, smaller, emaciated women began to take the runway - and it worked. As people stopped paying attention to the woman's body, the clothing they wore sold better..."

And I started thinking, wow! this could actually be true! Back in the day women were curvier and embraced those curves like no other. They even wore bustiers and skin tight clothes so that there curves would show. I am a latina, so I have my good curves if I may say, and it is so sad to me to watch other latinas trying to hide their curves and wanting to be so skinny!! We are built this way! I do embrace my curves, hey! my boyfriend loves them... believe me! lol So if you are a curvy woman, embrace it!

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Showing me some love!

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Hey everyone! I have been quite hesitant to write about my personal issues through this blog but I think it is important to do so. Maybe someone will identify with me, find an answer to a life long question or it will be a good way for me to vent. I have dealt with the alcoholism of my father for 24 years, my whole life. I have been through stuff that only my mother knows, and let me tell you it hasn't been easy. Through out my life, my mom, my siblings, and I have had a battle that never ends with my dad, trying to "fix" him, make him better... We always lose. And it took me almost 20 years to figure out that is not up to me, is up to him, only him. Getting out of an addiction is something that the addict has to want, desire. Believe me, we have gone to every possible support group, seminar, church council, AA, you name it! and nothing. Why? Because he wasn't up to it, he doesn't have a will. He has been so many times in the hospital, close to be dead, and nothing. I have learned to continue my life and achieve my goals. I always say to myself, no life is a waste it can always be used as an example. I see in my dad something I will never want to be and I feed on that to get the drive I use everyday to become a better person, sister, daughter, girlfriend, student. That doesn't mean that I am not affected. I have a problem trusting people, specifically men. I have a fear of drinking alcoholic beverages thinking that I am going to turn out an alcoholic as well, therefore I don't drink. I have anxiety every time I am in a room full of people drinking, and I get even more anxious when I know the people. I get emotional every time I see a father and daughter together, I even sometimes cry. So yeah, this has been a roller coaster we've been through. My mom has her own issues, unaccomplished dreams that she wishes she would have done, but instead she chose to help my dad. My brother is a wonderful men, but he also has trouble trusting people and he resents a lot not having a father - son bond. My sister which is the one closest to my dad has lost faith on him. We have all been affected one way or the other. A couple of months ago my mom, tired of being a one-womam army, made the decision of separating from my dad and asked him to leave the house. Since then I must say our lives have been more chaotic, which we think is ironic. When my mom made that decision she consulted me, my brother and little sister. We all supported her in her decision, since we thought that way she would have her life back and at the same time my dad would have his space to think and grow. But, this has been the opposite. Now, that my dad doesn't have us by his side, is when everybody else wants to "help". Plus, add to the equation that he has talked trash about us to everyone. Apparently we don't love him, we have never supported him, and we are the worst family in the world. My dad is in no way learning how to deal with his own demons because there is people surrounding him that want to help, help, help, almost to the point where it is funny to me. Before everybody knew about the problem, but no one cared. But now I guess guilt is more powerful than dignity and family, friends, think that by helping now everything is going to be better. Everybody thinks they can "cure"my dad. Yeah right! They are questioning everything me and my family have done, without even knowing what we have been through all these years! They don't have the slightest clue! Unfortunately I am far away from my family since I live in Illinois and they are in Puerto Rico. But sometimes I feel like taking a plane and just go there to set things straight. They don't want my mom and dad to separate, they don't want my brother and sister to be affected, they want to introduce "God" to my dad. This is all bullshit! My dad is almost 50 years old and he has been an alcoholic since he was a teenager. I think we have been affected enough, I think my mom has given the best of her to be the best possible wife, and "God" is NOT going to save my father. As people say: Everyone is responsible for their own salvation. And you know what? Praying on your knees for my dad to be better is not going to work. You can pray all you want but if he doesn't want to change, he is not going to change. Can you believe that it was even said that they wanted to help just to not feel guilty after my dad passes away?? It is so ironic that this is coming from people that are supposedly in a "religion". Religion doesn't make you a better person, more knowledgeable or better than anybody else. Sometimes people in a religion are uglier inside than someone that doesn't follows one. I have come to peace with the fact that I am never going to be able to change my dad or make him a healthy individual. He will have to do that on his own. But, as long as people keep giving him a hand he is never going to achieve it. He needs to hit rock bottom, he needs to know that he has pushed everyone away. Only then he will understand what he has lost to alcohol. Meanwhile, people continue talking about us behind our backs, as if my mom, my siblings, and I haven't had enough. But we continue with our heads held up high and with the confidence that we made the right choice. It will be just a matter of time before other people see what the real problem is and then, only then, is when my dad will maybe have a chance.

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